ARLO THE ALLIGATOR BOY
Rated: PG
Release Date: April 16, 2021
Director: Ryan Crego
Stars: Michael J. Woodard, Mary Lambert, Tony Hale, Vincent Rodriguez III
Plot: An alligator boy meets up with a band of misfits as he travels to New York to find his father
Clint Says: Watch it with the whole family this weekend
It’s not very often that I can get my whole family to agree to watching something together, much less having everyone like what is on, but this film had all of us tapping our toes, smiling, laughing and enjoying the story and the characters.
The story of the band of misfits on a road trip to find happiness is an old trope, but this film uses it in a unique and modern way that gives it a fun twist. It is lighthearted, funny, and quirky.
It is a story that focuses on celebrating differences, working together, and discovering what really makes a family. It also has some great music. The songs are all catchy and fast-paced. It would not surprise me at all if my youngest child asked to watch this again and again.
If you and/or your family love animated movies this is one you should watch as soon as possible. It is filled with great characters, great songs, and a great story. It may end up being one of the best animated films of the year.
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VANQUISH
Rated: R
Release Date: April 16, 2021
Director: George Gallo
Stars: Ruby Rose, Morgan Freeman, Chris Mullinax
Plot: A woman is pulled back into her old life of crime for one last night of jobs
Clint Says: Don’t even bother
Have you ever watched a movie that is so bad that it is almost good? Well, if you can’t say that you have then gather up all of your sharp-witted friends and que up Vanquish this weekend.
I have seen well over 5,000 movies in my life and this one ranks right up there as one of the worst of all time. This is bordering on The Room level of bad.
This is the kind of film you beg the writers of Mystery Science Theater 3000 to roast someday, because it is filled with hundreds of moments where the one-liners nearly write themselves. In fact, after I got over the initial shock of how terrible the movie was, I literally had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard at it.
It’s almost like the director tried to make a horrible movie. Ruby Rose and Morgan Freeman are both incredible actors. Do you know how hard it would be to make them both suck in a movie? Well, kudos to this director, because he managed to do just that. And the acting from the rest of the unknown cast is worse than Junior High School Autumn Play acting.
It also has one of the poorest written scripts I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing turned into a film. It feels and sounds like this was written in a day and they called the first draft good. The dialogue is so amateur and embarrassingly weak. I found myself cringing every time poor Freeman had to pretend to be talking to someone on the phone.
They must have spent the entire film’s budget on landing Freeman and Rose because the rest of the film looks like it was made for about $5,000. ($3,900 of which was used to rent the cool car at the end for a day). I mean, you know it’s bad when one of the bad guys shows up in a Smart car. (Or something quite similar to that. Honestly, I couldn’t be bothered to try to figure it out. I’ve already wasted too much of my life on this flick).
It’s pretty early in the year still, but I can say with 99.9% confidence that this film will absolutely make my 10 Worst Films of 2021 list. And it has a great shot at taking the top spot.
I can’t recommend this film in any positive way, but I can tell you this is a must-see movie if you are a person that loves to make fun of crappy films. I highly doubt you will find a film more deserving of the insults you throw its way.
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For more information and past reviews go to clintsmoviereviews.com.
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