Things I've Learned at a Water Park

1. I am the king of the Lazy River. All should address me as such from now on.
2. Bikinis are not for everyone.
3. Wearing extra clothing in the pool does not necessarily mean the person doing it is self-consious. They are probably just really nice and not subjecting you to a violation of point number 2.
4. Children can go all day at a water park and still seem strong going to bed, but heaven help the parent that has to wake them the next morning.
5. You can get a lot of housework done by your children with the promise of a day at the water park.
6. Even though you are surrounded by water, a 24 ounce bottle of water for $4 seems like the best deal ever at 3PM.
7. Kayaking requires stomach muscles that I either haven't used in 20 years or never had to begin with.
8. Getting into an innertube is much easier than getting out of an innertube. (Note: This should not imply that getting into an innertube is a walk in the park).
9. If one wears their swimsuit to the park, one will probably be wearing the same swimsuit when leaving the park. Extra towels for the car seats are a must.
10. A good day at the water park will buy a parent at least 5 "do nothing" days during the summer when the kids want to do something every day.