Imma Bouta Bring It

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1. Ready?

2. Are you sure?

3. Last week as I was driving Starshine somewhere, he started telling me about a song he and a friend are going to sing for the school's talent show. Then he said "And maybe we'll dance too. But I don't know what kind of dance to do."

4. Because I am never short of (probably awful) ideas, I said, "How about the robot?"

5. I demonstrated.

6. While driving.

7. Not the easiest thing to do, but in my defense, I was at a stop light. The only danger to other drivers was an unwanted glimpse of a truly uncoordinated woman trying to do a dance that died two decades ago with a steering wheel in her way.

8. Starshine didn't appreciate my efforts. He said, "We don't want to be robots."

9. I said, "Fine. Then how about the chicken dance?"

10. And I proceeded to try to demonstrate. The seat belt and the steering wheel conspired to make my demonstration slightly difficult to accomplish.

11. Starshine looked at me and said, "Mom, you look like a chicken giving birth. No WAY am I doing that in front of the entire school."

12. Kids. So ungrateful.

13. Last time I waste my awesome Chicken Giving Birth dance skillz on him.

14. Over the weekend, I had to stop at the store with all four kids and no hubby to help me. This isn't always a problem, but the teenager was grumpy, the baby had a coughing fit and spit up on her shirt, and the two younger boys were trying to see how fast they could incur my patented Death Glare.

15. We got through the store, made our purchases, and started walking through the parking lot. Starshine and Daredevil challenged each other to RACE through the FULL parking lot and yelled back at me, "See you at the car!"

16. Not on my watch, kiddos.

17. I yelled "Stop! Running through a full parking lot is a good way to get killed!"

18. They stopped, remained silent for a moment, and then Daredevil looked at Starshine and said, "Well, at least now we know a GOOD way to get killed. And here I thought all ways to die were bad. Who knew?"

19. Smarty pants.

20. Takes after me.

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