Getting Jiggy With It

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1. I don't sew.

2. I don't even mend things. Not. At. All.

3. This has just as much to do with my complete lack of aptitude as it does with the fact that really I'm not the best girl to be wandering around with a needle in my hands.

4. It's all fun and games until someone gets a needle in the eye, after all.

5. My mother, on the other hand, is a master seamstress. She used to make our dresses--the fancy ones with ribbons, lace, and little silk roses on them--and has yet to meet a pattern she couldn't beat into submission.

6. My sister is also very handy with a sewing machine and can crochet blankets and other fabulous things.

7. I'm the girl who had to sew a pair of shorts for Home Ec (back when that was still a subject) and accidentally sewed the legs completely shut.

8. I say all of this because now when I tell you I used a glue stick to hem my work pants, you won't be surprised in the slightest.

9. The glue washes out every time the pants go through the laundry, but there's more glue where that came from!

10. Problem solved.

11. I've been informed by Daredevil that I'm not allowed to say "Getting Jiggy With It." Ever.

12. I beg to differ.

13. I gave birth to three children in four years. There are parts of my body that must be restrained with duct tape and some steel pipes to avoid putting out someone's eye in a brisk breeze.

15. I am the very definition of getting jiggy with it.

16. He also told me I don't get to say "Wiggedy, Wiggedy Whack."

17. Who wants to say that??

18. It doesn't even make sense.

19. I hypothesized it meant someone wigged out and whacked someone.

20. Daredevil looked like maybe he'd swallowed a lemon and begged me to stay far, far away from his friends.

To learn more about CJ's Mommy, click here.