The 23 Things Everybody Pretends to Enjoy
A recent Quora thread had people list things they (and most people) pretend so hard to like. We took some of their answers and added our own to create a master list of all the things you are only fake enjoying. So, take a look at this list, realize all the things in life you're lying to yourself (and others) about, and wonder just what you're going to do about it.
Don't get us wrong, seeing different places is great, but getting to them is another issue. Packing, airplanes, buses, cabs, etc. And deep down, you really don't like getting ripped off, being constantly stressed out, getting lost and then coming home to an empty bank account.
Uncomfortable clothes, long lines, sweat sandwiches, $20 drinks, all just to be seen by people. No thanks.
You get along great with the new people most of the time, but you can't shake that feeling that they are totally judging you. That's because they are.
You're afraid to be the one who speaks up during the "running conversation" and say that you actually dread tying up your sneakers and getting going on that run. Be brave though, because you're definitely not the only one thinking that.
Sure, those paint smears on that canvas are "open to interpretation." But how much time have you spent "interpreting" what they mean?
It was fun for about the first 10 minutes, but then you really got tired of about 50 people you've never even met telling you how "grown up" you've become. And don't even get us started on the "What are you doing with your life?" questions.
Look to your left. There's someone drinking green juice. Look to your right. Same thing. So you go ahead and pay $10 to sip a blended kale salad. You know you really hate it when you start using it as an alcohol mixer.
What's your favorite Shakespeare play? You may say "Hamlet," but you know that the real answer is "none."
Running around to attend family obligations, spending way too much money and fighting through crowds at the mall. 'Tis the season to be miserable and deal with this annual hassle.
Sure, you spend a good portion of your workday bookmarking recipes that you absolutely cannot wait to attack in your kitchen once the day is done. And then what happens when you get home? Yeah, that's what we thought. You order takeout.
You've burned your hand twice trying to rush around the kitchen to get everything perfect, and all you can think the whole time your guests are eating is if they are lying about it tasting "really good."
Yeah, you act like you really enjoy watching "Cosmos," but you know the whole time you were desperately wanting to change the channel to "Pawn Stars."
You forced yourself to almost finish "Infinite Jest" just to sound intelligent around all your other friends who also pretended to actually finish the book.
You do yoga about five days a week, but most of the time you have no idea what position the instructor is asking you to contort your body into, and you don't understand how everyone around you always seems to be so much better at this than you.
Yes, you grit your teeth and smile when your friend's kid jumps all over you and screams in your ear. After all, according to your friend, it's "so adorable." It's really not.
Don't get us wrong, we know you absolutely love the feeling wine provides. But can you really tell the difference between a Cab or a Merlot?
Do you really love ingesting something that makes you wince and feel like fire is burning through your entire body? Again, you love the feeling, but you would probably be grateful if there were a less painful way of getting very drunk really fast.
You have probably thought one or all of these three questions as you swallow an oyster:
1. Why are these so expensive if they are so small?
2. Why do people like these so much when all they just taste like is salt and ocean?
3. Why am I eating these when I really think they are nasty?
Everyone tries to act so pumped about teamwork and getting things done together, but think back to all those times you had to do a group project in high school and college. There was always that one person who ended up doing all the work. Who who was that one person? You, of course.
Your life is pretty much a mess but your best friend just got engaged, got a raise and just found the house of her dreams. You're so happy for her. Yes, you're happy, but mostly envious.
We don't know about you, but after a certain act, cuddling is kind of the last thing we want to do. We're hot and we've had enough touching for the moment. Also, who actually likes sleeping while hugging someone? Every time you attempt this act, you wake up on completely opposite sides of the bed anyway.
Your friend: What do you think of these shoes?
You: They are absolutely hideous and I would never wear them.
That's what you wish you could say in a situation like that. But you know you can't.
Oh, the irony! While you wish you could be honest about your friend's sartorial choices, you actually hate when other people tell you the truth about yourself. Because the truth hurts. And that's a pain you would like to avoid at all costs.